Server Complains About Customers Who Won't Converse With Her, Sparks Debate on Restaurant Manners

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Aug 24, 2023 6:00 PM EDT

The rules of going out to eat are pretty simple. You tip the acceptable amount and try to be as pleasant as possible to the people serving you. Even the most antisocial of us should be able to attempt this, but following these guidelines is not something that everybody is willing to do.

A server recently took to Twitter to highlight the issue, griping about all the customers she dealt with who refused to engage in minor small talk. Revealing that she had had to deal with a lot of people who refused to respond to a simple "how are you", the conversation surrounding her tweet was not as uncontroversial as we might expect. 

While some sympathized with her complaint, others took this as a sign that she was being deliberately exclusionary. Some didn't even seem to realize that she was talking about customer service. What followed was a debate both heated and dumb. Most of us are fully capable of extending basic kindness, even if we do have our issues.

 

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  • 01
    Organism - i want to bailey-ve @been herde Follow sorry if this is rude or whatever but i really hate people who refuse to endure even the tiniest bits of small talk. can't tell you how many times i've walked up to a table at work and said "how are you doing today" only to be met with complete silence and a blank stare
    via been_herde
  • 02
    Rectangle - i want to bailey-ve @been_herde Follow if you don't want to talk to people then stay at home!!!!
    via been_herde
  • 03
    Font - i want to bailey-ve @been herde Follow it's so funny when people don't read what i say. "i don't want to be perceived" "people don't owe you their attention" i cannot overstate the fact that i am a server. i am talking about ordering at a restaurant
    via been_herde
  • 04
    Font - ABNDESIGNS @abndesigns 2d Replying to @been_herde "How's it going?" "Diet Coke."
    via abn_designs
  • 05
    Organism - miriam @miriamh. 2d Replying to @been_herde started my first serving job and i've already experienced so many "hi how are you-" "dr pepper and water" like ppl are just rude! 40 122 10.6K 270K i want to bailey-ve @been... 2d : like sorry i don't need you to hear my life story but i do think we owe each other a little bit of human decency ●
    via m1riamh
  • 06
    Font - Thicc Chungus @anactualwalnut Subscribe Replying to @been_herde As someone who hates small talk this is very fair. There's a difference between being kind and addressing someone's existence and making talk about the weather for 5 min. The latter is annoying, the former is just being a decent person
    via anactualwalnut
  • 07
    Font - bunnimoni @bunnimoniOW.1d Replying to @been herde It is simply too awkward, I'm never wanting to act miserable but idk man I don't like small talk and will avoid it. I prefer to plan my conversations in advance so whenever I'm thrown one out of no where it scares me and I usually don't know what to say
    via bunnimoniOW
  • 08
    Font - April Addams-... @April__Addams Replying to @been_herde Invisible disabilities exist. Some people struggle with communication. They shouldn't have to 'stay at home' because they don't want or can't do small talk. Follow
    via April__Addams
  • 09
    Font - A Life Concussed ✔ @AConcussed Follow Replying to @been_herde You seem lovely. I know I would talk to you, but maybe try not to judge and definitely don't take it personal. I work in mental health, and even people who appear to be very clean, cut and straight shooters really struggle with all kinds of things.
    via AConcussed
  • 10
    Font - O Barbie Gothiqqx GothiqqX @Gothiqqx . 1d Replying to @been_herde Shame on them for not meeting your standards Shame on them for not being social Shame on them for just wanting the service Shame on them for not giving you exactly what you think they should Or should it be Shame on you for not considering that people don't exist the way you do
    via Gothiqqx
  • 11
    Font - Anto (Atonal-Media) @AntoAtonal Follow Replying to @been_herde No one gives a fiddlers what you have to say take my order and leave simple as your poaching for tips simple and plain. And on the other hand I'm out for food with whoever it may be leave us to our conversation
    via AntoAtonal
  • 12
    Font - Elly!!! @MsEllyG SOON Follow A greeting isn't necessarily small talk, but I agree with this tweet wholeheartedly. This is coming from someone who doesn't like to engage in small talk at all. It DOES NOT HURT AT ALL to have COMMON DECENCY towards people in the restaurant or any other hospitality industry.
    via MsEllyG
  • 13
    Rectangle - Suki's Mom @zukosmadre - 12h My contribution to this round of unbelievably silly discourse is simply: anyone who is attempting to make a problem out of this works AT BEST a fake email job
    via zukosmadre
  • 14
    Font - BAD ASH THEPLACE URCIAREGLJAN all customers are ba... @utilitylesbian Follow replies and quotes to this are a good description of what i mean when i describe customers as a class, lol. a lot of y'all are terrible little transactional and entitled babies. expecting to be served but can't even look your servers in the eyes or treat them with humanity.
    via utilitylesbian
  • 15
    Font - swagman ginty @majimatron 21h the way i work in a psychiatric office and specialize in patients with adhd and/or autism if not both and they still have pre loaded scripts for social interactions even if they're nonverbal but ppl on twitter can only infantilize and generalize all nd people ●
    via majimatron
  • 16
    Font - - S @earlyspringsnow. 23h oh my gosh you people are genuinely insane Kristy @llamalluv 13h Because you don't mean it. Answer honestly: if your customer responded with "I have cancer and my spouse is leaving me for their lab assistant" does that make the transaction better or worse for everyone involved? You planning to stick around and hand out tissues? 36 1 43 37 il₁1 34K Arcadia @Arcadian_Sage 9h If that's your response to a random waitress asking how your day was you just need to reeva
    via earlyspringsnow
  • 17
    Font - Neoxie Tepes... Follow @Neoxiee everytime one of these posts come out suddenly 90% of the world's population has an invisible disability that prevents them from participating in the social contract and you're ableist for suggesting they should acknowledge their waiter's personhood for 3 seconds
    via Neoxxie
  • 18
    Font - nina @ninagrewal97.1d I dislike noise and have sensory overwhelm sometimes, I avoid talking to people when I'm out and about if I don't have to. but I will absolutely engage in small talk with staff who are serving me, especially if they're kind. I find it disrespectful ignore someone's existence.
    via ninagrewal97
  • 19
    Handwriting - T@txadel_1d No let's wake it up. You people are disgustingly rude. This is a massive date ick
    via txadel_

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server servers waiter customer service twitter wtf customers argument controversy dumb twitter discourse
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